this is--
not a reflection of you being
not a reflection of me:
your boy.

hard to believe
hard to believe
you like me
somebody like me
(who is this? it's you,
not "somebody like you";
you.)
hard to believe, still.

discovery: (at eleven pm after waiting by the phone all day)
not trusting myself is
the same
as not trusting you.
it means i don't trust you
if i don't trust myself.

so: this
leap

like trusting you to catch
me by the arm (by the collar)
when i lose my balance
or turn away, or
turn to you.

so this: yes.
yes sir.

this is:

trusting myself
to be good enough
to be enough
the same

also:

trusting you
to be everything you say
you are (everything!)
because if you

someone like you
(there is no "like me",
only me.)
can like me (only me,
sir.)

the world is a very
different place
than i'd always
imagined myself
to be.